It’s the early, silent hours I love best. Sipping my coffee, watching the sun rise, and feeling you thump around in my belly, hopefully without a care, as you knit yourself together from stardust and whatever I’ve been eating lately (mostly fruit and baked potatoes). I imagine that when you feel finished and decide to arrive, the mornings will only get earlier and less silent, but for now, it’s the most lovely part of my day. The part where I get to wonder about you without interruptions and can let go of all the fear and anxiety that I’m somehow doing this wrong even though we’ve just gotten started.
What I already feel for you reminds me so much of what I feel for your father. I want to give you perfection, but all I have is myself. You should know this now, I have made and continue to make a lot of mistakes. I’m confident that your entry into our lives will only provide me with a wealth of new opportunities to be awkward and generally make a mess of things. That said, I love to have fun, I’m a big fan of compromise, and I’m an expert at letting go (your dad is still working with me on how to hold on), which often works wonders when mistakes are made.
Your father is a riot. You’re going to love the crazy things he can do with his face, the ridiculous repertoire of noises he can make (the dolphin being one of my personal faves). And he has no idea how to hold babies, change diapers, etc, so you and I will share a lot of laughs in the early years while he fumbles around.
Well, little love, speaking of your father, the sun is up and it’s time for us to get started on the day. I say we kick it off right and go jump on the bed right by Daddy’s face while singing Rise and Shine at the tops of our lungs. He loves that. ; )