Alright, folks, it’s time for me to switch things up a bit. My writing has been awfully heavy of late, and I need a break to feel a little lighter and brighter. To that end, it’s time to tell a story that is, without question, my favorite story to tell. It’s about my dad, who tried to get me to promise to never tell it to anyone, but instead, I promised to share it every chance I ever get. So I’d be remiss not to share it here where literally anyone can read it! (If you don’t know him, don’t worry, his sense of humor is top notch and I have his permission to share.)

I was fifteen years old and had just walked home from school. As I opened the front door, I could hear my parents arguing, which was pretty rare, so I was going to just slip in quietly and go around the kitchen through the living room to my bedroom. But the minute I came in, dad threw up his hands and stormed out of the kitchen and my mom heaved a big sigh. She was standing at the stove stirring something and didn’t look at me when she said, “Jesse, I have a question for you.” She sounded serious, so I braced myself, but nothing could have prepared me for what she asked:

“Do you have a pair of crotchless underwear?”

It took me a minute to process her words. I’d never even seen a pair of crotchless underwear, much less worn them!

“No!” I yelled. “Gross!”

She finally looked at me, but her expression was concerned. “I told your dad I didn’t think so, but I guess he was folding laundry and it was mostly yours and he says he found a pair of crotchless underwear.”

I opened my mouth to tell her they were absolutely NOT mine, but before I could get a single word out, my dad stormed back into the kitchen, holding up the offending article of clothing, red-faced and yelling, “ARE THESE YOURS?!?!?”

All was silent for a solid five seconds.

Then mom and I started laughing. We laughed so hard we cried. We laughed so hard we could barely breathe. We literally rolled on the kitchen floor laughing. All the while my dad, still extremely upset, kept yelling, “WHAT?! WHAT?! THIS ISN’T FUNNY!”

Apparently, he had only told mom about the undies, he hadn’t actually shown them to her. If he had, she would have probably done what I did then. Still laughing and crying and trying to breathe, I got up off the floor, walked up to him, and flipped what he was holding right side up, so he could see it was, in fact, not crotchless underwear, but rather my sports bra for basketball . . . which he had been holding upside down . . .

He took a moment to process what he was seeing, then immediately said, “Don’t tell anyone! Promise me you won’t tell anyone!” but mom and I both assured him we would, indeed, be telling everyone. : )

So there you go, my very favorite story to tell. I hope you had a good laugh and I hope you’ll help my mom and I keep our promise by sharing it!